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Having relationship problems? Past trauma or other things from the past affecting your life now?

Feel overwhelmed by changes in your life and just can’t seem to cope? Can’t relax, your mind always races, memories keep intruding and affecting your work, school, family, or social life? Been searching yet never quite achieving your goals or having your needs met? Tried a variety of ways to fix it but nothing really worked?

I help individuals and couples, as well as families, resolve problems they’re having. I teach my clients skills that last a lifetime to resolve and reintegrate past trauma/PTSD, rebuild and maintain their intimate relationships with skills they often never knew existed, cope with life changes, and help them have a sense of joy, inner peace, calmness, self-control, purpose and meaning in their lives they thought impossible to ever have.

Couples I work with are often struggling with a lack of emotional and physical intimacy. They’ve lost respect and trust for each other, have little companionship, and complain of poor boundaries and poor communication. And they often have frequent arguments about finances, sex, children, social media, their relationship, etc. Sound familiar?

I help couples open up and communicate to each other, rebuild mutual respect, trust, and honesty, understand what’s not working in their relationship and why, help them come up with mutual solutions for their problems, and re-experience friendship and simple joy in just being with each other.

PTSD & Trauma
PTSD, contrary to popular beliefs, is not forever. It is fixable. PTSD and other past traumas, accompanied by grief, are all too often underlying and untreated causes of relationship, work, school, and health problems. As a result, many people have ongoing struggles with mental health and substance use. They feel guilty, ashamed, stressed out, damaged, alone, confused, emotionally numb, can’t sleep or concentrate, can’t trust, have racing thoughts, have mood swings and anger issues, worry constantly. Alcohol or other substances may have helped to a point, but probably caused other difficulties. They ‘ve tried “traditional” routes like psych meds, talk therapy, and/or substance rehab yet nothing has really worked because underlying causes were often ignored. They want their lives back but feel lost and out of control.

I help my clients identify and address those underlying causes, work with them on eight aspects of wellness (mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, biological, sexual, psychological, social), and help them restore emotional and physical harmony. I help people live proactively according to their own values, needs, and expectations, express their emotions openly and honestly, and set and maintain safe boundaries.

What sets me apart, makes me different?
Three things. First, I have unique experience, training, and skills in a broad range of areas that others simply don’t have that I effectively apply across a variety of problems. Second,  I constantly add to and improve my knowledge and skills, doing considerably more continuing education each year than required. Lastly, I focus on what’s happened to you vs. what’s wrong with you in two primary areas; relationships – with individuals, couples, and families – and PTSD/trauma. None of us have all the tools we need to build and then maintain a mutually supportive relationship. Our past can and does intrude, changes do happen, and both can lead to problems affecting multiple aspects of our lives. I’ve helped hundreds of people regain their lives and I feel confident I can help you as well.

What do I do differently than others?
I don’t focus on mental disorders or what’s wrong with you. Instead, I focus on what’s happened to you and your reactions – the underlying causes. I don’t focus solely on talk therapy, the mind. I work with the body and spirit as well and I focus on your physical, safety, and relational needs. I also consider and help you explore other possible causes. I get feedback each session from you about how you’ve done over the past week, as well as how you think I’m helping you in each session. We track and work those results together. The therapy I do is structured and we stay focused on your initial problems. While we work together on new problems as they arise, we stay focused on those primary problem areas.

The majority of those I’ve worked with over the years – couples and individuals – have had significant improvement. Many of my past clients initially met criteria for PTSD / trauma. They commonly improved 30-points or more compared to their pre-therapy scores in 10 or so sessions, no longer met trauma criteria, and had a renewed sense calmness, self-control, joy, inner peace, joy, purpose and meaning in their lives. This can be you.

Thank you for all you are doing for me, on and off the table. It means a lot to me. Kelly S. [former client]

Thank you Ray for everything. You have helped me so much. Billie G. [former client]

Have some questions or want some help? Send me an email asking for a free consultation. Include your availability in the coming week and I’ll respond within 24-hours with a day and time that works for both of us.