Monthly Archives: November 2017

What is an affair?

I’ve worked with a lot of couples, and a common complaint centers on affairs. Popular parlance says an affair is cheating on one’s partner. It is, and it’s also more than that. It’s a violation of respect, trust, and boundaries that causes serious harm to and can destroy the relationship. An affair is often viewed … read more

Relationships: Do you know your own baggage?

  Want to have a great relationship? How hard are you prepared to work on yourself? If you’re willing to make a commitment to yourself then read on. In my mind, the most important part of any relationship is knowing yourself. We all have baggage that we’ve picked up over the years. While some of … read more

Stress: We all have stress

Stress makes us react consciously or unconsciously and in a variety of ways. Our reactions are generally a mixture of responses – behavioral, physical or biological, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual, psychological, and relational or social. Long-term or chronic stress can make us physically and emotionally ill and in extreme cases unrelieved stress can kill. We … read more


I was recently asked, what is the path is to a loving and lasting relationship? That’s a tough question, one that I’ll try to address over the next several posts on this topic of relationships. We’ve all had relationship training; from our parents, our peers, the media, and, perhaps too often, from our own mistakes. … read more

Got Stress … ?

My grandfather used to say the only constant in life was death and taxes. I loved and respected that man, but he was wrong. The only constant and reliable thing in life is change. And change is stressful. Did you know ninety percent of all doctors visits are stress-related? We all have stress. We can’t … read more

Happiness is always your choice.

This is the last in this series of blogs on happiness. I’m winding this particular blog on happiness to a close and starting another on stress. In the past 6 weeks I’ve talked about 29 ways (by my count) anyone can use to improve their sense of personal happiness. All of these (and thousands of … read more

What Happened?

That question – What happened? – from a mental health perspective, focuses directly on context and is the center-piece of trauma-informed care. What happened to you that got you to this point? The DSM-5 states “The approach of separately noting diagnosis from psychosocial and contextual factors is also consistent with established WHO and ICD guidance … read more

Want to improve your resiliency?

Here’s a “standard” way to improve your resiliency and your happiness. People are lot like trees. Trees grow in communities. Trees, like people, compete with each other for resources yet we also cooperate and compromise. We and trees both put down roots. We’re both affected by our environment and we can both make changes to … read more