The Way It Was
Why can’t things just stay the same?
The only constant in life isn’t just “death and taxes” – it’s change.
Let’s face it. We all experience changes in our lives. Some are easy, but some are not.
Some leave long-lasting scars and intense pain.
Trauma is all about change. Change we couldn’t deal with effectively in the moment. Change that still affects us now. And a common element of trauma is grief.
But grief doesn’t hit us empty-handed. It’s armed with the conflicting emotions of anger, shame, guilt, betrayal, self-blame, abandonment, failure, fear, humiliation and more.
And it’s not just about death: We grieve lots of things.
Loss of innocence, breakups and divorce, aging, loss of physical capabilities, job changes, lost possessions, previous homes, friendships, roles, and the list can go on and on.
Any or all of these come with a host of “symptoms” that may resemble mental illness – but aren’t.
How can I get back on track?
William Worden came up with perhaps the best way to deal with grief and loss – four tasks:
- Learn to accept the reality of the loss
- Learn to work through the pain of grief
- Learn to adjust to an environment in which the person, capability, etc., is missing
- Learn to relocate the loss emotionally and move on with life
These tasks aren’t easy.
They aren’t stages, as some people have taught.
But there’s good news
It’s okay. Working through grief and loss is not linear, is not a progressive process, and does not conform to a time frame.
There is no right or wrong way to do it, to get over a loss or major change in our lives. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way – in your own time.
You’re okay. Grief is not mental illness.
And there are ways to make the process easier.
So, what’s next?
Together, we’ll work through the four tasks.
After completing your assessment, we’ll develop your treatment plan.
We’ll help you learn and strengthen safety and emotional regulation skills.
We’ll dive into therapy to help you learn and grow as a person.
I’ll show you 37 ways to work through Worden’s four tasks. They’re proven! They work!
You’ll have to do your homework, but it’s worth it! You’ll get more out of your therapy between sessions, so it’s important.
Depending on your needs and desires, we can do other types of therapy, as well. I specialize in trauma and have helped many people work through a wide array of losses; childhood abuse, suicide, guilt and shame to name just a few.
You can’t go “home” again
Maybe you can’t go back to the way things were, but you can move forward.
Contact me today at (850) 684-3059 to schedule an appointment and begin that journey. Your journey.